Anxious and Disappointed

        Going into break, I was really excited to be able to have a week-long vacation from having to endure the worries of school and balancing my life for a bit. I was excited to get to just relax and then go to work and come home again. It was a well needed break that I wanted to use to my advantage. There was nothing really that I needed to catch up on per say, but I had wanted to get into studying for my ACT and SAT since I would have time to do that and I didn’t have any other homework really.

        To my disappointment, none of that had happened like I had promised that it would. I knew I had to work all last week from 1:30 until close, and knowing that I didn’t have any homework made that easier on me. So I figured that I would be able to accomplish all that I had wanted to and still have a relaxing break if I managed my time correctly.

        I was just reading one of my friends blogs that he had wrote yesterday, and what really stuck out to me was how he had said that he did what this last week was called. He took a break. He took a break from all the stress to re-collect himself and be ready to continue once we had to return back to school. He didn’t do homework or college stuff, or apply for scholarships. He relaxed and did what he wanted to. I did that too. Or what I could do for the most part, but I had work and my mother breathing down my neck about studying for the ACT which is this weekend L and the SAT which is next weekend.

        Thinking about having to take those tests just adds about fifty pounds to my already slumped shoulders. Once the stress of those tests is off my back and I can successfully say that I am satisfied with the score that I got, then I can begin to relax a bit before I have to begin to apply for colleges and then wait until winter break hits me in the face and begin that quick journey down the mountain of school to graduation. I have waited six years for this moment in time and feel like I’d like to now wait a whole other life time for my next chapter in life to begin.

        Will I be ready to experience that part of life? I am afraid for what’s to come next. I wish I had a choice to pause what I want to, but life doesn’t work that way.  I have to put trust into myself and know that what is meant to happen will happen and that these decisions that I make along the way are what make me, me. I’m anxious for what’s to come.