Pain

Pain. 

There are different kinds of pain.

The physical pain that you feel when you fall down. 

The emotional pain you feel right after a break up. 

The mental pain you feel while you're taking your finals. 

Like I said, there are many kinds of pain that a human has to deal with. I think that the most painful is emotional. Emotional pain affects how you function day to day, what your mood is like, and how personable you will be with other people for that day or week. 

Emotional pain hits me the hardest. I used to be a very emotional child when I was growing up. I would cry about everything, no matter how big or small they were. It was not my finest moment. Now I'm not very emotional, I hardly ever cry. I tend to just get very frustrated now. I get frustrated very easily and that's annoying. When I can't figure something out, then I just kind of shut down. When I need help and no one offers to help, I get angry.

Now, I am thinking about how ridiculous this all sounds. I sound like a child that when they don't get there way just throws a tantrum. That's not me.... Well this was an affective blog. Excuse me for my embarrassing blog. 

Frankenstein

      As Frankenstein is coming to an end, I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed Frankestein far more then I enjoyed Hamlet. Frankenstein has more character interaction. It is more enticing to the audience. The story line actually makes sense to me and I can follow it. 

   Mary Shelley's goal was to make a romantic era horror story, and instead to me it's a story about a creature that just wants to be excepted and loved. He wants to be able to live in society with humans and be able to interact with and fall in love with someone. Having a companion to be able to be with and relate to. He just wants to be loved since his creator doesn't want him it anything to do with him.  

  

  Acceptance is an important part of life. And that's all that the creature wants. I look forward to seeing how this story ends. Hoping the odds are forever in their favor. 

Animals

This sounds like a cliché, but ever since I was a little kid I have wanted to be a veterinarian. I have had a passion for learning about animals and being there for them to make them feel better since I was little. I’ve always been an animal person. In the summer of 2012 I was able to have the opportunity to shadow a local veterinarian for the summer to see if I really wanted to pursue a career in veterinary sciences.

In those few short months I had learned quite a bit about animals, one aspect I learned is that I love animals even if they aren’t my own. Secondly, I would never be cut out to be a veterinarian. While shadowing the doctors that summer when they performed surgeries, sewed up sutures, saved lives, and ended lives, I knew that I would never be cut out to be a vet. I knew that I loved animals and still wanted to pursue a career that involved animals in one way or another. That’s how I came to the conclusion of wanting to open my own animal rescue center one day. I’ve seen multiple TV shows that have inspired me to pursue this career choice. It’s not an easy job I know that, but I am a very hands on person. I enjoy working with animals and knowing that I can help them stay off the streets and continue to stay healthy ignites a spark in me that I can’t seem to extinguish.

I am a motivated person, with very strong leadership capabilities and qualifications. I enjoy talking to people which would allow me to help adopt out the animals in my rescue center. My love for animals is what drives me, what better way to show that love, then by establishing my own rescue center.

Relationships

   Relationships are tricky things, being that they don't last forever. Or they most likely won't last forever and that's the most  frustrating  part about them. When you put all of your effort and heart into a relationship and it doesn't work out, it sucks. 

   Yes, relationships have there ups and downs, but in the end if you truly love that person, then all the ups and downs don't really effect you. They make the relationship grow stronger and it makes your heart grow fonder for your significant other. 

  Unfortunately that's not always the case though, and I can be the one to attest to that... I was in a relationship for the past year and a half. I had known him since 6th grade and had liked him ever since then. He wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend then, so we had waited until middle school and then we started dating. It didn't really work out, so we ended it and I went to another high school so I never really thought of him again... 

  

  My best friend goes to school with him and is asked about him sometimes to her and she would te me who he was dating or anything she knew. Sophomore year, I went to a football game with her to my zoned high school and low and behold he was there. I hadn't seen him in about two years, so when I did I was really excited. He looked so attractive and I just couldn't believe how much he had changed... I started to have a crush on him.. We were able to hangout after that with our mutual friends and it just started from there. 

   I have to say, that dating him was one of the best things that has happened to me. He taught me a lot about myself, he taught me who I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with. He was my first love, and he always will be. But I think it's time to move on. Move on away from the heartache and start focusing on myself again.

The Beginning of Frankenstein

I wasn't very excited to say the least to have to start reading a new book in AP. That class is already stressful enough, and adding another thing that is required for us to do does not help my situation out at all. AP this year is not as fun this year as I had thought it would be. 

   

   Starting Frankenstein was interesting to say the least. It had started out with these letters sent from some guy to his sister maybe? And then the main character of the novel and his story begins right after. It was all very confusing to me. After I had finished reading the part required, I thought that I had understood what was going on. Then we came into class and took the quiz that our teacher had made for us and I was so lost.... I had no idea what was going on. 

   Who writes a book with letters at the beginning that aren't even from main characters in the book? It doesn't make sense and I'm sure my grade showed that..     

"Not the Right Class"

      I worry a lot. Ask anyone that knows me well enough and they will tell you that I worry a lot and about the most unnecessary things that someone could worry about over 90% of the time. I have always been a worry wart and especially with having OCD it is more prevalent then it would be in a “normal” person. .

            Senior year isn’t helping me with trying to cut down on my worrying and that’s even more frustrating than anything else is right now…  I have a lot of large worries right now that I am not sure which one I need to deal with first to start to ease my mind.

            Yesterday in AP our teacher was talking about college and scholarships, so like  I said in my other blog post, I began to have a mini panic attack about all that I still need to do and then I began to zone out.  As I began to zone back in, I heard him talking about if we couldn’t handle what we were doing right now, that maybe we needed to not be in AP anymore and needed to find a way to get into a regular English class.

                Um, well that was annoying to me. Just because I was getting a little bit behind with turning in a few assignments that he had assigned us but never told us when they were due, does not mean I belong in regular English. I have never been in a regular English class and plan on never being in a regular English class. I’m sorry, but I respectfully disagree with your opinion. I am a smart individual and will always be smart. Quite frankly, if I'm not good enough to be in that class, I don't know how half of the people in my class are meant to be there either....

Ap Woes

            When I chose my classes last year for my last year of high school, I thought to myself, pick classes that are easy enough to pass but are still challenging enough that I don’t get bored with them. As well as having a schedule that I would enjoy and have classes that I actually wanted to have. So that’s what I did, I built my schedule for myself this year, not for college or for the counselors or my teachers, or my parents. I built it for how I wanted MY school year to go.

            I was almost 100% positive that my schedule would be manageable this year and it would be easy enough that I would be able to have free time and be able to prepare myself for college. I thought wrong I guess you could say. Very wrong…

            Yesterday while I was in my AP English class, our teacher was talking to us about scholarships and applying for schools. Whenever he talks about those things I have a mini panic attack because I think about all the things that I have to do and have done and by what dates they need to be done by. It’s overwhelming to me and I can tell it’s starting to take a toll on me because I’m getting stress sick. For me, that’s when I have too many things on my plate and I begin to have a messed up body. My stomach is the main contributor to that.

            Next, he started talking about the novel that we have begun reading in class and taking it home as well. We had to take a quiz on the chapters that we had previously read and I read the book and I had felt pretty confident in myself that I would do well on the quiz. I was wrong for that as well…. I was at a loss for words yesterday after I had finished taking the quiz. I knew I had failed the quiz, which had angered me even more than I already was and the day had just begun. I read the book, so how could I have failed the test? It was extremely disappointing that the test had gone the way it had. It makes me wonder if I had made the wrong choice in picking AP literature as my English class, maybe I should have done regular English and just been able to get an easy A and been done with this year.