Who am I?

Am I the girl next door that everyone loves? Or am I that bitch that everyone loves to hate? I question who I truly am everyday. I wonder who I will become in my life. I wonder where I will go and what I will do in life. 

Truth is, right now I just want to live. I want to love unconditionally. I want to be wild and rebellious and live how I want to. I'm a teenager and that's what we do best. In the last few weeks I have gotten in trouble quite a bit. And boy can I say it's been great! I have never gotten in trouble like that before and I can say I don't regret a thing that I've done or that's happened. I just regret that my parents found out and I got punished. As I've gotten older I have begun to regret less and less of the decisions that I've made. I've always been the "good girl" that everyone stereotypes me to be. I get good grades, I'm smart, I'm involved in many extracurricular activities and I have a job on top of all of this. But I need to enjoy my life and live for me. And that's what I'm doing, excelling in all that I do and still having fun while I do so! I'm the person I've always wanted to be. And whether it not those around me accept it or not, is not my problem.

American Hustle

    Over our Christmas break/winter break or whatever you want to call it, I didn't go out very much. Especially to the movies. I went to the movies once over break. My family has a new tradition that every Christmas Eve we have our Christmas dinner. Then Christmas morning we open presents and eat breakfast and then have all day to do what we want. Then we go to a movie Christmas night. 
    This year, my family and I chose to go see the movie American Hustle. I wasn't very thrilled with that movie choice because it didn't look appealing to me. It wasn't really something that seemed enticing to me. 
    As the movie began, I thought I should give it a chance. That maybe the movie was going to be better then I thought. I was wrong. Over halfway through the movie my butt started to fall asleep. I didn't get the purpose or the plot of the movie. It didn't make sense to me. Watching the scenes in the movie was strange to me. The scenes made me not uncomfortable, that's not the right word, but uneasy. Maybe.... I don't know if that's the right word either.... It's probably not. 
    Anyways. The movie was about these hustlers that hustle a cop and in the end come out on too looking like the good guys. Watching this movie with my parents was interesting, because there was a lot of sexual scenes. That's awkward to sit through with anyone's parents... I definitely would not recommend this movie to anyone not matter how many golden globes the movie wins. 
   

Pain

Pain. 

There are different kinds of pain.

The physical pain that you feel when you fall down. 

The emotional pain you feel right after a break up. 

The mental pain you feel while you're taking your finals. 

Like I said, there are many kinds of pain that a human has to deal with. I think that the most painful is emotional. Emotional pain affects how you function day to day, what your mood is like, and how personable you will be with other people for that day or week. 

Emotional pain hits me the hardest. I used to be a very emotional child when I was growing up. I would cry about everything, no matter how big or small they were. It was not my finest moment. Now I'm not very emotional, I hardly ever cry. I tend to just get very frustrated now. I get frustrated very easily and that's annoying. When I can't figure something out, then I just kind of shut down. When I need help and no one offers to help, I get angry.

Now, I am thinking about how ridiculous this all sounds. I sound like a child that when they don't get there way just throws a tantrum. That's not me.... Well this was an affective blog. Excuse me for my embarrassing blog. 

Frankenstein

      As Frankenstein is coming to an end, I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed Frankestein far more then I enjoyed Hamlet. Frankenstein has more character interaction. It is more enticing to the audience. The story line actually makes sense to me and I can follow it. 

   Mary Shelley's goal was to make a romantic era horror story, and instead to me it's a story about a creature that just wants to be excepted and loved. He wants to be able to live in society with humans and be able to interact with and fall in love with someone. Having a companion to be able to be with and relate to. He just wants to be loved since his creator doesn't want him it anything to do with him.  

  

  Acceptance is an important part of life. And that's all that the creature wants. I look forward to seeing how this story ends. Hoping the odds are forever in their favor. 

Animals

This sounds like a cliché, but ever since I was a little kid I have wanted to be a veterinarian. I have had a passion for learning about animals and being there for them to make them feel better since I was little. I’ve always been an animal person. In the summer of 2012 I was able to have the opportunity to shadow a local veterinarian for the summer to see if I really wanted to pursue a career in veterinary sciences.

In those few short months I had learned quite a bit about animals, one aspect I learned is that I love animals even if they aren’t my own. Secondly, I would never be cut out to be a veterinarian. While shadowing the doctors that summer when they performed surgeries, sewed up sutures, saved lives, and ended lives, I knew that I would never be cut out to be a vet. I knew that I loved animals and still wanted to pursue a career that involved animals in one way or another. That’s how I came to the conclusion of wanting to open my own animal rescue center one day. I’ve seen multiple TV shows that have inspired me to pursue this career choice. It’s not an easy job I know that, but I am a very hands on person. I enjoy working with animals and knowing that I can help them stay off the streets and continue to stay healthy ignites a spark in me that I can’t seem to extinguish.

I am a motivated person, with very strong leadership capabilities and qualifications. I enjoy talking to people which would allow me to help adopt out the animals in my rescue center. My love for animals is what drives me, what better way to show that love, then by establishing my own rescue center.

Relationships

   Relationships are tricky things, being that they don't last forever. Or they most likely won't last forever and that's the most  frustrating  part about them. When you put all of your effort and heart into a relationship and it doesn't work out, it sucks. 

   Yes, relationships have there ups and downs, but in the end if you truly love that person, then all the ups and downs don't really effect you. They make the relationship grow stronger and it makes your heart grow fonder for your significant other. 

  Unfortunately that's not always the case though, and I can be the one to attest to that... I was in a relationship for the past year and a half. I had known him since 6th grade and had liked him ever since then. He wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend then, so we had waited until middle school and then we started dating. It didn't really work out, so we ended it and I went to another high school so I never really thought of him again... 

  

  My best friend goes to school with him and is asked about him sometimes to her and she would te me who he was dating or anything she knew. Sophomore year, I went to a football game with her to my zoned high school and low and behold he was there. I hadn't seen him in about two years, so when I did I was really excited. He looked so attractive and I just couldn't believe how much he had changed... I started to have a crush on him.. We were able to hangout after that with our mutual friends and it just started from there. 

   I have to say, that dating him was one of the best things that has happened to me. He taught me a lot about myself, he taught me who I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with. He was my first love, and he always will be. But I think it's time to move on. Move on away from the heartache and start focusing on myself again.

The Beginning of Frankenstein

I wasn't very excited to say the least to have to start reading a new book in AP. That class is already stressful enough, and adding another thing that is required for us to do does not help my situation out at all. AP this year is not as fun this year as I had thought it would be. 

   

   Starting Frankenstein was interesting to say the least. It had started out with these letters sent from some guy to his sister maybe? And then the main character of the novel and his story begins right after. It was all very confusing to me. After I had finished reading the part required, I thought that I had understood what was going on. Then we came into class and took the quiz that our teacher had made for us and I was so lost.... I had no idea what was going on. 

   Who writes a book with letters at the beginning that aren't even from main characters in the book? It doesn't make sense and I'm sure my grade showed that..